The Truth Behind Madara
by MistressArafaxdeep
Summary: Ever wondered the real story behind Madara? Well here it is. In all of it's crack glory.


_So... this is an extremely crack cross-over story. It'll make your head spin. Why? Because my head was spinning when I was writing it. I was a little loopy because I hadn't gotten enough sleep, and this is the result. I think it's funny. I really do. Several pressing issues about Madara and the Uchiha clan are resolved. The first of which is the name of his brother._

_Please enjoy.All the characters who appear belong to other people. I'll leave a list of who's from where at the end._

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"So Madara," his younger brother Chad asked, "do you have any plans for the future?"

"Uh… nothing much. You know. World domination and all that," Madara answered, crossing his arms and leaning back."You wanna help me? Your laser beam Sharingan would help me a lot."

"Sorry no," Chad answered. "I sort of wanted to marry that girl Rae. You know, the Mars girl."

"Oh… yeah. Her. Have fun with that. I'm just gonna take your eyeballs now."

"What was that?"

"Uh… nothing. Nothing at all."

Chad shrugged. "Okay. Have fun with your life of mayhem and destruction."

Madara collapsed on the ground then, rolling around, playing injured in a dastardly scheme to get his brother's eyes. "Ack! My eyes! They burn! They burn! Get them out! Get them out!"

Chad bent over."Okay then." The plucked out his brother's eyeballs and dropped them on the floor. "Is that better?"

"Crap! Now I can't see! Give me yours!"

"No…"

"Please…" Madara whined, a pout on his face.

"Ugh… fine. But you better take care of me." Madara nodded in agreement. Chad plucked out his own eyes and popped them into Madara's head. Madara stood up, jumping up and down because of his restored vision. Out of gratitude to his brother,he arranged Rae's marriage to Chad.

Of course, Chad's blindness created lots of problems. He completely ran into Bai Wang, a very evil sorceress/sorcerer, who had no qualms about running her/his fingernails through everyone she/he met. Rae and Madara were able to save him before he was skewered. Unfortunately, they didn't reach him in time to stop him from plummeting off a cliff when he got lost in the forest.

In Madara's despair, he did the honorable thing and took Rae as his wife. Eventually, she did indeed conceive children. Oddly enough these children had a strong affinityfor fire. This was attributed to their mother's status as the Queen of Mars. Clearly that meant she had the ability to use fire. For some reason it had been passed onto her children. The two children, Roy and Dilandau, loved fire, probably more than was healthy. Dilandau struggled to overcome his addiction to burning things. And killing things. He was essentially a crazy pyromaniac. It was no surprise when he was later admitted into mental institute.

Roy ended up getting his mother's temper. But he was secretly a pervert. His dream was to get to the top and make all of the women wear short skirts. Roy was never able to become a ninja. However he became a renown alchemist and an important military officer. Madara would have been more proud if his sane son had been able to do ninjutsu of any sort.Though the fact that his son was an upper member of the military worked well in his plans for world domination.

Somehow, Roy and Dilandau both managed to impregnate kunoichi. This gave Madara's grandchildren ninja skills. And the fire manifested itself in them, becoming the Uchiha fire attacks that we all know and love.

Eventually, Madara realized his brother's laser-beam eyes had made him an immortal, and his entire family died while he still remained young. He then began to implement his world domination scheme: use a fox demon to take over the world. Kurama wasn't a sufficient fox demon for the job. SoMadara had to mate him with a real fox and ended up with Kyuubi.His evil plans backfired when the spastic yellow haired Hokage put his creation into a small baby.

In his depression from being defeated, he became a druggie. This severely damaged his brain's capabilities.So he convinced the Uchiha boy, Itachi, to kill everyone.It would help conquer the world he was sure, even if he couldn't say exactly how. Madara didn't really remember anything. He was so stoned that absolutely nothing made sense anyways.

The brain damage eventuallyculminated when he started thinking of himself as a different person. Who was a good boy. Eventually his brain committed suicide due to Itachi forcing him to look at NaruSasu yaoi.

The end.

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_Cast:_

_Madara Uchiha... Naruto_

_Chad Holdenford... Sailor Moon_

_Rae Hino... Sailor Moon_

_White Queen Bai Wang... Shaolin Sisters_

_Roy Mustang... Full Metal Alchemist_

_Dilandau Albatou... The Vision of Escaflowne_

_Kurama (who has no last name)... YuYu Hakusho_

_Vaguelymentioned Minato and Naruto... Naruto_

_Itachi Uchiha... Naruto_

_I hope you enjoyed :D Just don't give me crap about how this story makes no sense. It's not supposed to._


End file.
